Rwandan weddings, part 2 (corrected)

There isn’t even a word for how wrong my assumptions were about Rwandan weddings. I thought they would besimple, low-key, maybe Christian with some cultural elements….

Not only no, but really, really not.

The third of Dr. Joseph’s wedding ceremonies was today (the first was a cultural ceremony in traditional attire which happened before I arrived in the country; the second was the civil ceremony I posted about earlier. Better yet, there is an American independent radio journalist who interned with NAR a couple of years ago and is now here doing a series of pieces on Dr. Joseph’s whole wedding extravaganza. Her name is Anna Boiko-Weyrauch. Listen for her “Postcard from Rwanda” and other stories on your national public radio station.

Everyone assembled at an Episcopal church in Nyamirambo, one of the districts in Kigali. There were two couples marrying, Dr. Joseph and his beautiful Betty, and another bride and groom. I took a moto (a motorcyclce taxi) there. More on motos in another post. There were lots of people dressed in traditional Rwandan clothing (women’s wear looks almost like a sari, but with less wrapping). Lots of Western attire as well, and lots of combinations. Very colorful. The gentlemen wore suits and ties that ended at about the sternum. I have to say that I tried to put together the most celebratory look I could, but I simply didn’t bring clothes like that. Next trip I’ll know. I ended up wearing a black jumper dress with a white undershirt, black tights and black mary jane tennis (yes, I know…please don’t nominate me for “What Not to Wear”) and a light blue jacket. I still looked like “Rachel Researcher,” but dems da breaks.

Back to the wedding: there was no processional; the couples and their wedding parties sat at the front, which reminds me a little of Mexican weddings, except there were two couples today. There were lots of prayers, blessings, and speeches. Almost all of it was in Kinyarwandan, with the exception of a few minutes in English. Here’s what I’ll never forget from Dr. Joseph’s and Betty’s wedding:

“You are too young to fail. You are too smart to fail. You are too important to one another to fail.”

These wise words were spoken by I think the highest of the three officiants.

There were exchanged vows, exchanged rings, more prayers and blessings, and then each bride was handed an open traditional Rwandan basket and the guests were invited to come up the double aisles and make a contribution to what I surmise were the fees or donations to the three clergymen. After that, each couple completed the wedding certificate and held it high overhead for photos.

They had officially, finally, tied all their knots.

And then there was the reception!

We traveled to a fancy hotel where there were many many many many photos taken. After an hour of that, we went inside to sit in tightly packed rows. The civil ceremony was the same way: the rows of chairs had about 8 inches between rows. Honestly. All the tall people had to scrunch up their knees to sit down.

Coca-Cola’s world domination was evident here: offerings from one family to another were bottles of Coke, Fanta, and Sprite. Yes. The bride and groom fed each other sips of soda instead of champagne. Really. Guests drank…you guessed it…Coke, Fanta, Sprite. Come to think of it, urwagwa, traditional banana beer, was probably used before soda came into the picture.
The highlight of the evening were the traditional dancers, both men and women. (And ya, I forgot my camera. Wah. ) You’ll need to listen to Anna’s reportage; she’ll tell you. There were six or seven dances, all symbolizing different things. But some things are universal: the dance of gifts proffered Betty a jug of milk; in the next dance, Dr. Joseph was presented with a spear.
There were more speeches, but interestingly enough, not one word from the bride nor the groom. The cultural customs moved them along through age-old processes that have adopted modern flavors.

But now that they are completely married, Dr. Joseph and Betty will have plenty of time to talk.